When you left, I really thought I would move on as fast as you did

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in

When you left, I really thought I would move on as fast as you did. Seventeen days later, you found someone to laugh with, while I was trying to understand why we weren’t meant to be.

You found someone better- she’s not better than me, she maybe be better for you than me yet she gets to have you.

She gets to see the softer side of you – the side that’s crazy in love. She gets to love you without ripping herself apart.

She gets to be with you without waging wars against herself to keep the peace between you two.

She gets to drink the love I thirsted for. I heard she’s my namesake so do you think of me when you call her name? Do you sometimes think what would have happened if you chose to stay instead? I think I’ll always miss who I became when you enter my life. You know the hardest part about all this? I Will have to remember you longer than I’ve ever known you and with that, I’m finally accepting that I can love you and still hate you for everything you did.

I am finally recognizing that you were a storm I couldn’t escape, I still found beauty in your chaos. I’m finally accepting that loving you is worse than leaving you. And at the beginning of this realization lies a hope to find better.


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