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This picture pretty much sums up Vampire Knight.
PG-16 for violence and loads of sexiness; official series website (manga)

(Note: I have to spoil the first volume or two of the manga with this review, but don’t worry - this manga is nothing but reveals. There’s a spoiler every other chapter.)

Every girl and her dog - and in some cases, her brother as well - loves Vampire Knight. The manga’s sold a billion copies, a second season of anime will be making its appearance in the fall, and the number of Yuuki cosplayers who nearly killed NotHayama at Anime North in order to get copies of Volume #4 was both telling and disturbing.

That’s because Vampire Knight is Melodrama Porn. Just like those old martial arts films from the 70’s are King Fu Porn and those “how-to” dessert magazines at the grocery check-out are Food Porn.

The premise of Vampire Knight and the first few opening pages are so painfully, mind-numbingly stupid that I had to physically put the book down the first time I read it; all the blood in my body was diverted to slapping my hand against my forehead as hard and as quickly as possibly. Cross Academy is a boarding high school with normal students during the day, and ONLY SEXY VAMPIRES at night. The SEXY VAMPIRES are part of a program that gives vampires medicine to replace their need for sucking blood, and that, combined with their ethics teacher being an ex-vampire hunter with an eye patch, is supposed to help them become an active part of human society at some point. The only two human students who know about the night class are Yuuki, our heroine who’s in love with night class vampire leader Kaname, and Zero, a perpetually tortured bishounen who hates vampires and keeps taking his shirt off in front of Yuuki.

There are a bunch of other SEXY VAMPIRES and a few other humans in the series, but they’re not important - the point of Vampire Knight is for Yuuki, Kaname, and Zero to be involved in the most gasp-worthy, gut-wrenching love triangle EVAR. Kaname saved Yuuki from a much more evil vampire when she was a child, so she’s in love with him, but he’s a gentleman vampire who won’t bite her no matter how much he wants to. Zero comes from a family of vampire hunters, and since a vampire killed his family, he hates vampires more than anything - and thus hates Kaname. But Zero was also bitten by a pureblood vampire, so he’s turning into a mindless vampire himself, meaning he’s physically and emotionally tortured 24-7. Yuuki’s his friend, and they have sexual tension, but she also has sexual tension with Kaname, who has mutual hatred (and sexual tension!) with Zero. Oh, and biting someone is the social equivalent of having sex with him/her, so of course there’s SEXY BITING going on all over the place against bathroom walls to cries of, “I can’t put my teeth in you.” “Do it - I want you to.”

I will admit that the way mangaka Matsuri Hino keeps the melodrama ball rolling is nothing short of brilliant. This manga is basically a dramatic, sexy shoujo series with all the non-awesome parts cut out. The stupid premise building and bad opening only last about a chapter - then it’s headfirst into Kaname’s smoldering gazes and Zero hugging his naked body and screaming about how he’s a monster, what has he done, damn you, vampires. Even though the series is just about the Triangle of Sexy, the horde of side characters aren’t incongruous like in many shoujo - they step in when more characters are needed, filling in exposition, taking care of the boring off-screen stuff, and even slowly taking place in the plot in a fluid and comfortable way. That was the first thing that surprised me.

The second thing that surprised me is how successful the sexiness is. It is perfectly attuned to the teenage girl sex drive. Don’t believe everything the media tells you - some teenage girls have sex, but lots are just interested in sex in theory. They want boys, and they want sex, but not actually. That’s exactly what Vampire Knight gives them - boys, and sex, but not actually. Characters get into states of undress without ever showing anything important, there are lingering touches and little licks, and forbidden SEXY BITING with all its emotional and social repercussions stands in for fooling around. Even those viewers who are interested in actual sex can appreciate the sexual tension, because we all know that things are sexiest when you don’t show/include everything.

And the third surprise? The potential for the melodrama is endless. After the million plot twists and reveals in season 1 of the anime, I asked NotHayama, “What could they possibly do next season?” And off the top of her head she listed about 15 SUPER DRAMATIC plot points that could start the very next episode. For a show that has almost no downtime between the drama, it rarely feels contrived. Matsuri Hino has put together a premise that can keep the Melodrama Porn quotient high enough for long enough to melt its captive audience into a collective pile of goo. And the goo will beg for more.

So yes, the school of normal students/SEXY VAMPIRES broke my brain with stupid. And yes, most everything in the series is varying levels of silly. But for what it’s trying to do, Vampire Knight does it better than anything else I’ve ever seen.

Educated impression: You’ll probably die for more of this series if you a.) have the sentimentality of a teenage girl, b.) are addicted to melodrama, c.) have even a vague interest in vampires, d.) find sexual tension an art, e.) want to see boys angst while wielding phallic guns at cute girls and other boys, f.) find any of the above hilarious. But if you want something serious and intelligent to read/watch, stay far, far away from the ridiculousness that is Vampire Knight. (Lianne)

27 Responses to “Vampire Knight Mini Review (manga/anime)”

  1. on 25 Jul 2008 at 10:49 am laurie

    finaly, some one answered my question why people like VK. I’ve read it, and I guess Im not in to melodrama porn ^^

  2. on 25 Jul 2008 at 12:24 pm Kuri

    A brilliant summary and well-said, not to mention enjoyably entertaining. Teenage girl love for VK exposed! I got bored with this series at volume 4 so I guess I only have so much of the mentioned attributes.

  3. on 25 Jul 2008 at 12:44 pm M.T.Copyright

    Ha ha you hit the nail on the head! yeah, I kept reading it up to 4 out of MORBID curiousity, any teenage girl who likes vamps and shojo’s MUST own this. Everyone else should pick it up to look at the nice art and snicker at the attempt at a serious dark toned ‘plot’. Meru Puri was the first thing I read from her, and I seriously think the woman should stick to magical comedy. But still all in all, very VERY good review.

  4. on 25 Jul 2008 at 8:39 pm Andre

    Wow, that really sums things up. Great review!

  5. on 26 Jul 2008 at 3:20 am Elizabeth

    You’ll probably die for more of this series if you a.) have the sentimentality of a teenage girl, b.) are addicted to melodrama, c.) have even a vague interest in vampires, d.) find sexual tension an art, e.) want to see boys angst while wielding phallic guns at cute girls and other boys, f.) find any of the above hilarious

    I love a, b, c, d, and f, and I still find Moto Hagio’s The Poe Clan is much more worth reading than VK.

    Great review btw, now I know why other girls love VK.

  6. on 26 Jul 2008 at 9:31 am nothayama

    Of course Moto Hagio’s works are more worth reading than Vampire Knight. Pretty much everything is more worth reading than Vampire Knight. The one and only purpose of Vampire Knight is to get a “squee” out of its audience. Whether or not someone likes it is entirely dependent on how much ridiculous they’re willing to buy from a series.

    My own experience with Vampire Knight went something like this:

    “Oh, poor Zero. That really suc– wait a minute! I’m being manipulated! Screw you, Vampire Knight!”

    Then I messed around on my computer instead of watching, and had Lianne fill me in on all the melodrama. How much you enjoy this show is really dependent on how much you’re willing to let yourself get sucked in by it. I couldn’t do it. A lot of the other people who’ve posted here couldn’t do it. But people who write about manga on the internet tend to go into it looking for meaning or things to critique, and those things don’t really work here.

  7. on 02 Aug 2008 at 9:28 am Lianne

    And yet despite how NotHayama feels about Vampire Knight, she still watched it with me when I was having a bad day. That’s a best friend right there.

    And it’s funny, but I recently caught up to the manga’s serialization in Japan, and all my references to Vampire Knight being melodramatic are no longer strong enough. If the first few volumes of the manga and first season of the anime are Melodrama Porn, then the rest of the series is…I can’t make a better metaphor without officially breaking our PG-13 policy on this site. Let’s just say the melodrama levels officially break into INSANE. And not in a bad way, either…things STILL feel completely believable within the universe; Matsuri Hino just knows how to think outside the box and make every reader scream with every chapter. No downtime, only SQUEE, and yet there’s a definitive plot moving forward. How can you do that? How can you possibly write a manga this insanely melodramatic without making it feel at all contrived? One of the chapters actually made me tear up? What the hell? I’m 26 years old and bitter!

    I don’t think this manga is brilliant by any means, but I certainly think Matsuri Hino is. Wait for the reveal about Kaname…it will blow your mind.

  8. on 10 Aug 2008 at 1:45 pm Humane

    I think I might be daft because I don’t feel a vampiric bite is anything near sexual. Maybe it’s because I bite my significant other too much.

    I really want to get into it some more but I find my pauses in between episodes getting longer and longer. Only at episode 7 now! I will mush on! MUSH!

  9. on 11 Aug 2008 at 12:55 am LadyUranus

    Oy… I totally agree and I fell for all of it. I read the first two volumes, found myself waiting in anticipation for the third, and then… Well, then VK started paying attention to the random non-Kaname vampires and since I didn’t really care enough to re-read the melodramatic but contentless volumes beforehand, I just got confused. I pay attention to the SQUEE moments and read the volumes as they come out in English, but I don’t feel good about it.

    And you could never get me to admit that I read VK in person.

  10. on 17 Aug 2008 at 4:56 pm Naru

    I still don’t get why people love it. I like you read the first volume and gave up. It was worse than Hot Gimmick, which at least made SENSE despite the stupid heroine. Maybe it is cuz’ I’m not a sexy vampire person? I love melodramatic shoujo manga with love triangles(Parfait Tic, anything by Miyuki Kitagawa) but c’mon. Vampire Knight is too silly.

  11. on 20 Aug 2008 at 11:42 pm SexC Russian

    You all are losers for thinking this anime is sexy!!!! It’s an anime in 2D and they all look like girls. Also, they have a scrawny bodies. I like a real man with a some meat on him. The bites are not sexy at all. I would not be surprised if most of you are virgins that watch this kind of BS anime instead of going out in real world and have fun and getting a real man. Get a life. Anyone can be sexy if they try, and can get a man.

  12. on 21 Aug 2008 at 11:25 am Bad Jew

    Not to respond to a troll, but:

    go to bed

  13. on 21 Sep 2008 at 10:07 am winny

    thanks for your review! i have been following vampire knight manga + anime for a while. i don’t like it but since i am not someone who drops animes and mangas, so most probably i will go along with the series till it ends.

    i don’t quite understand why are people (esp teenage girls) so crazy about this manga till i read your awesome review. personally, i don’t find the plot very captivating, and i guess i am one of the few who feels that the art in the anime (at least in the first few episodes) is better than the manga’s.one thing i find ridiculous was how Shizuka died…for a pureblood who tortured yuuki and gang for a few chapters, being killed so easily and unsuspectingly by kaname is unacceptable to me. as for the action scenes…yeah i know this is a shoujo manga, but i am more comfortable with shonen action.

    so now, i can finally put my feelings for VK in words. yeah, i am no longer a teenage girl and i am not into melodrama.

    i am sure there are followers of this series who disagree with me, but just putting in my two cents’ worth to VK.

  14. on 22 Sep 2008 at 7:12 am nounoune

    Well well, i’ve read all comments and i kinda said i’m really disappointed of how you analyze things, for me its just a question of taste you like it or not.
    Its not a matter of age especially for you Lianne
    because you refer it to teens or girls.
    Its not a matter of genre (porn)
    I like this series because the art is good, until now
    the story has a logic till now.
    Its a good idea to make reviews but you have to do it in a right way.
    At last as you talk about age sorry but beauty is the beast i cease reading after two chapters its too childish for me but i will say in fact that the story
    was not my cup of tea ……..
    PS:i’m 29

  15. on 22 Sep 2008 at 9:05 am Lianne

    …i’m really disappointed of how you analyze things, for me its just a question of taste you like it or not.

    Whoa! You did it, nounoune! Finally, the secret to all criticism!

    PEOPLE EITHER LIKE THINGS OR THEY DON’T!

    I guess there’s no reason to write reviews anymore. I can retire to my seaside palace at last, and spend the rest of my days enjoying things or not.

  16. on 24 Sep 2008 at 7:58 am nounoune

    i invite you to go to other blogs who don’t like VK and u will understand

  17. on 24 Sep 2008 at 12:45 pm Lianne

    I don’t really know what we’re arguing, nounoune. I love Vampire Knight. Plenty of people I know love Vampire Knight. Plenty of people I know HATE Vampire Knight. I tried to write a review summing up the appeal of Vampire Knight and why someone would love it OR hate it for that appeal.

  18. on 02 Oct 2008 at 3:12 am naika uriza

    that’s a point of view from a person who is not into melodrama and a teenage girl.. well.. there’s two side in every story.. point taken but why not try looking at the other point you have missed??

    vampire knight like any other animes has it’s own bad sides and good sides.. but then again we can’t deny that people who hate it or love it.. can’t stop it’s popularity nor being a hit maker already…

  19. on 19 Oct 2008 at 2:44 am Neko

    It’s either you like this series or not. Stop contradicting yourself and being a moron.
    It’s really hilarious to type so much just for your distaste in a series.
    Sure,it’s not perfect but it’s good in a sense.
    You obviously have issues to go so far and be so serious on the internet.
    Don’t like it?Get a life,will ya?
    8D

  20. on 21 Oct 2008 at 11:34 am Lianne

    Neko,

    Are you talking to me? That would be so funny! Because, y’know, I said I love Vampire Knight two posts before yours.

  21. on 26 Oct 2008 at 1:05 pm Sakura

    I felt bored when I watched the 1st episode.Reading this reveiw helped me to choose 2 continue or drop it.I guess I’ll drop it since I am not intrested in love triangles.
    THANK YOU for this awsome reveiw.

  22. on 27 Oct 2008 at 11:53 am SittingOntheFence

    I heard about Vampire Knight because of considerable buzz on the internet when it was just starting to show up…I read a few chapters. It didn’t really capture me, and I lost interest quickly, but you have the good points right there. I like lots of drama in my stories, and the plot twists certainly did leave me surprised…but overall, I can’t say I really adore it and wait for every update. I don’t HATE it, neither do I LOVE it.

    I just think it’s a considerably dark manga. Dark in themes, and it gave me lots to think about.

    I was never particularly drawn by the concept of vampires or blood, for that matter, but I think that several of the themes tackled in the story are great to sit and just think about.

    This review is becoming really long, so I’ll just leave it here. Thank you for a nice summation of the points in the manga. : )

    ~SittingOntheFence

  23. on 27 Oct 2008 at 6:22 pm Shona

    The SEXY VAMPIRE thing made me laugh. :) I agree with all of this!

  24. on 06 Nov 2008 at 3:54 pm Becca

    You are so right, I have thought all the things you said in this review in my head, but never as eloquently as you have. The whole teenage girls want “boys, sex, but not actually,” is a perfect way of putting it. That is why I like Shojo, but really the premise of this story is stupid… but I keep “begging for more.” lol great review

  25. on 13 Nov 2008 at 9:32 am Fahji

    Wow. This is why I love Sleep is For the Weak. It’s like you can read my mind!!

    Right Side of Brain: Wait, how many times does Yuuki throw herself in front of Zero’s gun? I’m sure she’s done it ten times more than she’s ever used her magic weapon!

    Left Side of Brain: DONT CAER TURN PAGE

  26. on 17 Nov 2008 at 7:07 pm Lianne

    Fahji:

    I think your joke works better if you reverse “right brain” and “left brain.” Although I would personally use “brain” and “thundering endorphins caused by OMG OMG OMG.”

    You bring up an excellent point–Yuuki has a magical weapon that can totally stop vampires and a bracelet that can totally stop Zero, yet Kaname easily bats aside her weapon, Zero easily glares at her and walks away when she tries to use her bracelet, and any time she LOOKS like she’s about to defend herself from a super evil vampire one of the boys steps in and defends her for no reason. I would normally be a little offended that a shoujo heroine who was clearly raised to defend herself rarely gets the chance to…but I know the mangaka didn’t intend to make Yuuki seem useless, but, rather, wanted to optimize the number of times her hot boys could prove how badass they are.

  27. on 20 Nov 2008 at 9:14 am Why would I give a blockhead my name?

    Geez, sex, ex sex. Is that all you talk about? No wonder you’re alone, typing on a computer. I do it cause I have no life, but you, you’re lower than the dirt. Don’t breathe in too much, pal!

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